Thanksgiving Emmy Award Show Seating

by Paullette Gaudet
turkey1Gobble-gobble-gaah: One might brashly think that living in a negative square-foot loft— on a busy city block with zero street parking, no less—would guarantee immunity from hosting large family events such as Thanksgiving dinner. Alas, did you still draw the short drumstick this year?? Well, the family always did say you watched too much TV growing up, so put that wasted youth to use right now by patterning your Thanksgiving seating after a televised award show.

Let’s face it: the Emmys are basically a roomful of Thanksgiving kids’ tables, so follow that template and don’t look back. Instead of using a long, narrow table, arrange a few small square ones in a staggered circle. This offers the opportunity for super-fun seat assignments—Grandpa and the Ritalin Twins? Auntie Gluten-Free and Cousin Hoarder?—and lets you divide traditional Thanksgiving fixin’s into a feast that truly conquers.

Bonus: there’s a much better chance of matching the heights of four random chairs rather than sixteen.

  • Ham It Up: Is it a bit too on-the-snout to feature a glorious glazed ham at the same table as the family comedians? Nestled against bowls of snappy steamed green beans and oven-baked sweet potato fries, ham’s star will shine even more brightly next to bottles of a crisp Riesling and Grenache.
  • BizarroWorld Turkey: Put an end to the great deep-fried vs. oven-roasted debate by giving each its own table and specialized sides:

Deep fried turkey with garlic mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, stuffing with fruit, pecan or apple pie, Brut Rosé Sparkling wine

Oven-roasted turkey with whipped potatoes and smooth gravy, corn niblets, savory stuffing, pumpkin pie, Pinot Noir